How to work through Holidays to process grief in Temple, Texas

Steven Brodie, LCSW with Fuzzy Bear

As we are halfway through the holiday season, I can’t help but think about how hard the holidays can be, and how many people feel grief. Throughout the Temple, Texas I see and hear people who want to remember the people that we have lost or that we have had a change in relationship with. How do I stay connected without the overwhelming grief?

Loosening the bond

When I was about 5 years old I was sitting in my Granny D’s living room. We had family all around and one of my aunts had Christmas gifts for us, I was so excited. As I started to unwrap the present, I see a shoe box. The next words out of my mouth were “it better not be shoes”, my family and I still laugh about that. Inside the shoe box was a brown stuffed bear, Fuzzy Bear, and not shoes. That bear stayed with me everywhere. I took him anywhere I went. I can’t tell you when for sure or how it happened, but I stopped taking him with me. He is still important to me to this day I remember our first-time meeting; I remember introducing him to friends, the conversations we had, and they were great. I was able to create new attachments while “loosening the bond” with Fuzzy Bear. Every Christmas now I think of that old bear, my family often still tells the story, my kids know about Fuzzy bear. The bond with that old bear is still there just looks a little different today than when I was 5 years old.

Grieving during the holidays can be especially challenging as they are often associated with joy, togetherness, and celebration. It's important to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel the emotions you're going through. Here are some suggestions that might help you “loosen the bond”.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Understand that it's okay to feel sad, and it's okay to grieve during the holidays. Allow yourself the space to experience and express your emotions.

Create New Traditions

Consider creating new holiday traditions or adapting existing ones. This can help make the holidays feel different and may reduce the intensity of grief associated with established traditions. While still maintaining the bond to lost person.

Reach Out for Support

Don't hesitate to lean on friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your feelings with others who understand can be very helpful. You are not alone!

Memorialize Loved Ones

Find ways to honor and remember your loved ones. This could involve creating a memorial, lighting a candle, or sharing stories about them.

Take Care of Yourself

Grieving can take a toll on your physical and emotional well-being. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you comfort.

Set Realistic Expectations

Understand that this holiday season may be different from previous ones, and that's okay. Set realistic expectations for yourself, and don't pressure yourself to meet certain standards.

Remember that everyone grieves differently, and there's no right or wrong way to navigate the holidays after a loss. Be patient with yourself and allow the healing process to unfold at its own pace.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you find that your grief is overwhelming and interfering with your ability to function, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional who can provide support and guidance. I hope this helps you heal and overcome during the Holidays. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (254) 290-4223 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with grief, you can read more about how I can help here.